I just want to thank the Fab Four (again, as always, for their timeless brilliance, &) for making yesterday’s birthday by far the least dreaded of this current post-middle-age era.

For 46 years, I’ve heard & sang this song, never thinking it applied to me…well, until the past few years anyway.  But somewhere deep inside that music brain of mine, this benign vision of old age, coupled with its bouncy clarinet tune, burrowed in…way in. I believed it.  Turning 64 wasn’t going to be that bad.

& it wasn’t.  Of course, there may have been mitigating factors.  Such as being in the early stages of recuperating from pneumonia (nasty nasty!) & having minimal expectations about a happy happy happy birthday.  Such as only wanting to feel a little bit better than the day before yesterday – that would be good enough for 64.  Such as being very satisfied with a short sweet visit from the daughter & grandson, & a wonderful foot massage from husband R of 41 years who, by the way, did actually try to feed me during this ordeal.  & that BLT I was craving yesterday: thank you to Elizabeth for my first out-of-the house adventure in days, even though it felt silly to drive to the Harbor Cafe right around the corner.  & we rediscovered straws!…what a great invention.

So omg, how did I get pneumonia??  I wish I knew.  I have some theories – mostly stuff I know can contribute to reduced resistance to all those little viruses & bacteria that are always floating within us & without us.  Stress.  Yeah, that probably most of all.  I know from experience that I’m susceptible to wanting to overanalyze the past, the what-ifs, the head-shaking at myself in the rear view mirror.  But maybe it will be useful in this case    (…yeah that’s what they always say).  Maybe I can change some of my bad habits, & form some healthier ones as a result of this experience.  What the heck – I’m gonna try.

Not that I recommend the Fever & Delirium Weight Loss Plan, but, for example, I’m determined to not gain back those 10 lbs. I lost (& that I really needed to lose!) over the past two weeks.  My friend E is skeptical but I have a plan (…yeah that’s what they always say).  I also spent a lot of time on the sofa staring out the window at the changing light in the trees out front…I know it sounds sappy, but it was kinda like a forced stop-&-smell-the-roses time, & I did.  I am.

So, we’ll see what comes of it all.  In the meantime, I’m happy to be 64, I’m happy to have access to antibiotics, & I’m happy to feel the love & caring of my friends & family.  & that feels like a pretty good outcome at the moment.